Perfect

Purusing through facebook during office hours (as you do), notice Twinnys put up some absolutely gorgeous pics of her little boy on there. Cue me going crazy and 'liking' and commenting on every pic.

all my sisters have their facebook albums filled with their gorgeous kids.....whereas mines are all social nights out and holidays, and acutely no kids,, except when im with my neices and nephews....makes me feel in limbo, superficial....just,, i dont knw..pointess.

Twinny and her little one came over my place over the weekend, i cannot begin to tell you how lovely that was, our home filled with the sound of a baby laughing, baby milk bottles on the table, blanket, toys, rattles strewn everywhere.

I took command, told Twinny to kick back and watch tv, whilst i got endless cuddles from the little one.
His countless smiles i like to believe was due to me babytalking away to him. I changed his nappy, fed him milk, rocked him to sleep.

I could see Hubby sat on one of our sofa's drinking a coke grinning at me, his gaze lasting longer than normal,

at one point i had laid the little one on the sofa to let him stretch and kick,
and i was in a state of complete bliss, throwing my head back laughing at the adorable faces the little one was making, letting him grip my finger and in awe of his every movement.

looking up happily mid laugh at hubby i see him gazing...almost wistfully,  at me and the little one,

he smiles, but its not his usual mega watt smile, and nods at me mouthing  'perfect'

Life's little pleasures

Arrived home after work last night to see hubby opening the mail, turns out he's overpaid his tax and is due a payment of £1,412.. get in!

''you know i'm so going to have to go shopping babes whohoo!'' i lean in for a cuddle and look up at him, he hugs me tight  ''no way hun, we can buy some new gates for the back garden or maybe a new bigger TV.''

Hmmm, i guess one of us has to be the sensible one. But we will see :)

On a more embarrasing note, took me ages to find a parking space outside work this morning, ive been driving for years but parallel parking is the bane of my life....hubby is gobsmacked at how god awful my parking is
''seriously, who the hell passed you ?! did you sleep with him or something?!'' is some of his standard comments.

Don't get me wrong, i can parallel park, when nobody is looking.

it's when theres a queue behind me and ppl around i cannot fit into the most spacious of spaces.

Ended up parking miles away from my office and had to run in the rain....resulting in my carefully done hair looking like i have not even run a brush through it.

Positive note, hmmmm, just grabbed a frozen yoghurt.....seriously yum....lifes little pleasures :)

The little ones

What's in the water everyone's drinking today?

I was sat at my desk at work and one of my work colleagues ' drops a large envelope on my desk ''something came through special delivery for you today'' he says and sits on my desk curious.  Blonde co worker joins him and i look at the small sticker stuck on the seal of the envelope ''to a special lady in our family''.

Hmmm.what the hell....? is what im thinking at this point

Opening it, i pull out a large A4 glossy card, with a recent pic of me dressed up in a lilac coloured eastern dress, holding my youngest nephew, and all the rest of my nephews and neices sat around me grinning, taken a few weeks ago. Written above in curly kiddy font is printed ''To our lovely Aunty.......''
i cant stop grinning while coworkers oh and ahh over the picture of the little ones.
i trace their faces with my finger and cant help but smile at their adorable little faces, each more cheekier than the next.

Inside reads ''we will always love you and know you want the best of us.'' Getting a bit teary i laugh and chat with the co workers as they sigh and talk about how nice it is to have a close knit family.

I whisper a silent prayer to God to always keep the little ones happy, and Carefully sliding the card into its envelope i cannot agree more with my coworkers comment.

The card will definately take pride of place on top of my fireplace at home.

Love them.

Back to normality

So its been a while since i posted. Things have calmed down, well, resumed to what i guess you can call 'normality'

The month of Ramadan is over, no more fasting until next year!
To be honest this month flew by, it feels so wierd to be able to eat..whenever you want to, during the day? its absurd! lol...my body got so accustomed to the whole routine of the month, praying, the discipline of not eating during daylight hours..you would think i'd have lost some weight, nope! stuffing your face late evenings just counteract the not eating during the day!

Ah well!

It's good to be back at work, having the energy to talk talk talk, and go for walks with hubby after work. i missed that :)

Hubby completley suprised me with the best best gift ever, beautiful beautiful shoes <3

i was smiling from ear to ear and i think i pranced around the house a few several times :)

Fair to say hubby got some extra loving that night <3

London Riots

....My God, seeing things escalate here to such a horrendous level is beyond awful.

Recently happening in our own communities now..on our doorstep,

.mindless, thugs, its just evil.

and now...the 3 killed in Birmingham,
family friends of ours.

my father rang us crying early this morning to tell me.

Ive never heard my dad cry

heart wrenching, my heart lurched. i tasted vomit.

We switched online and watched the news incensed...
.how the lovely 2 brothers & ther friend were killed .

hit and run.

3 lifes lost,
just like that.

a video came up streaming live reaction from the family outside the hospital,
when they realised their son had passed away,
the brother of them...his reaction....screaming, falling,

oh god, sobbbing i curled up against hubby.

What is this world coming to.
Who are we to hurt, loot, damage and kill....

i pray for the family, our community, our country...
i agree with the boys father, pleading for no retaliation to occur.....
its like a horror film that we are all a part of.

Rest in Peace boys....never will you be forgotten.

Hubby

You don't know,
but every night, when i am locked in your tight hug,

i turn and stare at your face,,

studying it while you sleep,

and  i know without doubt that all your faces,

all the masks you has ever worn in your life,  

come out for me
and mine, for you.

You smile
and it is not perfect,

but i think it is.

You sing when you drive,
it's actually pretty rubbish,
but i smile.
every time

Its weird, roughly 4 yrs ago, we never knew that each other existed.

And now years on,
we still eat out of the same plate,

Drink out of the same cup,

Hold hands while we watch tv,

 laugh at the same things,

Think along the same lines.

Theres a natural-ness between us,

A familiarity like we have known each other all our lives.

Now, I don’t think I can do without u.

You cannot stand to see me upset,

Or not smiling.

You joke and play around like a little boy,

sometimes I find myself laughing so freely with u

If I am honest, I have never ever

Laughed like that in my whole life.

Not until I found u

   

When I’m cleaning up or about the house,

Or in the car with u,

Or at my parents house,

I can feel u watching me,  

Silently Making sure im ok, in ur own way,

loving me through those looks,

And I feel a huge cloak of security wrap over me.

knowingly or unknowingly, u are what i needed so badly

Hungry

I love weekends (i get that now is Monday, but i didnt get a chance to blog before nw!)

My secret passion is cooking, i always say to hubby if i didnt work i'd be cooking up masterpieces in the kitchen, he always scoffs and hhis normal answer is ''yeh right''

Weekends tend to be me mainly cooking enough to feed an army, let alone just me and hubby.
I always end up sending fully crammed food dishes to all my sisters houses and brothers to finish it off.

Sunday I cooked chicken biryani (spicy masala rice mixed with lovely cooked chicken pieces), some channeh masala (chickpea masala) and lamb kofte kebabs. mmmmmmmm.



although cooking without being able to taste how it is really sucked (due to Ramadan, still fasting!). Had to take a leaf out of Mums book and guess all the seasoning amounts.

but waiting to eat it was even harder

by the time fasting for the day was over, it was about 9pm ish here,
 my hunger pangs had nearly gone and i ended up eating only a plate
(i would normally stuff myself with at least 3 plates)

made too much as usual and ferried some across to the sisters. 

So need to book time off work and just delve into all my unopened cook books and go for it <3