Thursday 7 July 2011

Crying over a friend's facebook status

I was browsing through my facebook last night, having a little giggle at a friends hen night pictures and quickly untagging embarrasing ones of me praying no1 has seen them (as you do) .
Still smiling to myself I clicked back up on the newsfeed and read the following status update a friend had just put up:

"Before you were conceived, I wanted you.
Before you were born, I loved you.
When you were born, I saw your face and I knew that I was in love.
Before you were an hour old, I knew that I would die for you."

I froze and bit my lip.
The meaning behind those words struck me right in the heart, i want that badly, i want that.
Without even realising  I was sobbing uncontrollably whilst still staring at the status.

Hubby ran up the stairs to me hearing me cry (i felt bad as he was watching a repeat of Rambo: True Blood and he is obsessed with those sorts of action films) and hugged me from behind

''What on earth is wrong honey?'' he exclaims worridley.

I shake my head wordlessly too upset to talk and point towards the offending status and cry even more.

I hear Hubby sigh, gather me in my arms and wipes away my tears,
he then says the same thing he always says when he see's me in a state (which is becoming more and more often) "Honey, one day this will all be a bad dream, one day we will become parents i promise you, now stop crying its not good". He rocks me until I stop snivelling and he shooes me to the bathroom to wash my face, whilst quickly logging me out of facebook.

Sometimes I feel like he's the parent and I'm the child.

Washing my tear stained face, I silently whisper thanks to my fate for giving me such an amazing Hubby.

That night my insomnia kicks in again and I lay there shooting quick fire questions to him 'Don't you get upset?', 'Don't you hurt when you see someone outside holding a newborn baby?', 'Don't you just yearn so much you cannot think of anything else??'

His sleepy grunt and hug i take as a yes. I hug him tighter knowing he'd make an amazing father.
I fall asleep repeating his words of 'one day' silently to myself.

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