Periods - The bloody bane of my life

For me, periods are the most confusing and wierdest thing I have ever known of. From the begininning I have never had a good relationship with it.

I remember the first time I got my period, 11 years old, in Year 7 at my school and I was in my art lesson. Now my lovely mother had not yet given me the 'talk' of what to expect and what and why it is the way it is, picture a clueless simple tomboy of a girl who without her twin sister would have been labeled 'period girl' for the rest of her days.

During the art lesson (which used to be my favourite subject) i remember feeling something wet sliding down my thigh and a very odd heavy sensation going on down below. I looked around and everyone was completely engrossed in painting canvases so i decided to sneak off to the toilets. When getting up I looked down and my wooden art stool was covered in red (and not red paint i can confirm), me being the easiest blusher in the world went red faced, mind went blank and i recall thudding back down on my chair (which i regretted after hearing the squishing sounds).

My twin being the more outgoing confident and brass of the two kept questioning what was wrong, i hovered a bit so she could see the blood covered stool and tell me how bad my school trousers were covered in.
Without hesitating for even a minute, twinny whispered to me to go to the toilets now and stuff my knickers with as much tissue as you could find and she will deal with the rest. I ran like the wind and did just that, took off my sweater and tied around my waist and waddled back into the classroom.
Twinny had a brand new clean stool sat at my easel and winked at me before giggling and motioning to the back of the room where i could make out a very blood stained stool racked up against other spares.
i have never ever been more grateful for having a twin as i was then.

As the years went by, my periods were irregular from the start, some years i had it only twice or 3 times which worried Mum as they showed no signs of regulating. I loved this as i dreaded the heavy blood and pains. God knows how many years on and now, married and trying desperately I ruefully wish the bloody thing would come once a month like the damn mortgage did.
The first few months of taking Metformin seemed to be slowly regulating my periods which left me estatic that we were on the road to recovery. After about 5 months my periods became irregular again, i put on alot of weight and become thoroughly depressed with the bloody thing.