My Ex - Fiance

Attended a relatives wedding over the weekend with Hubby and family.
Being a girl of eastern origin, but born and grown up here in a quaint south west area of the UK, it's safe to say that I was very excited to go to an Asian weddings,  its all very Bollywood and glamorous.
I love asian weddings, adore the whole 'very filmy' aspect of it, the way its such a fusion of colours, design and embellishments, never fails to make me feel like I am part of a Bollywood movie set.

I cannot admit to you how much I enjoyed draping my rose red coloured sari on today,  fastening matching long dangly ruby diamante earrings, curling my long dark hair into tumbling locks & pinning back,  and even wearing a beautiful antique anklet (much to the dismay of Hubby who grimaced every time i took a step and heard the jangling bells).
Needless to say I took extra steps and randomly jiggled my adorned feet as we drove to the wedding - but i felt like a bollywood queen :)  - i mean come on, when can you dress up like this more often!!

Stepping out of the car and walking with my sisters and Hubby to the Hall where we can see everyone sipping cocktails (and juices for the Halal guests) I growned inwardly as I realised that everyone - and i mean EVERYONE will be there.

Oh gawdddd, this is going to be a long day, fellow Asians are notorious for being nosy as hell...(may be a sterotype but veryyyy applicable to this lot). From Aunts to second cousins twice removed, all enquiring as to what your salary is, how big your home is, what car you drive and how many kids you have.

Well, 3 out of 4 ain't bad.

Gritting my teeth  I fixed a fake smile on my face and kept it plastered there whilst answering everyones questions demurely, keeping a tight hold on Hubbys hand so he would not run away and escape.

''Salam darling and how are you my love, come give me kiss'' Exclaims an Aunty who I forgot the name of, who was literally dripping in gold and sporting an unfortunate garish sari choice showing far too much flesh.

'' Oh I'm fine Aunty absolutely brilliant'' I reply fixing the smile on my face after hugging her 3 times (the norm here). She pats my cheek, kisses Hubby and looks around ' ahaan, so where are your children?'' She bluntly enquired eyeing me accusedly.

I clench Hubbys hand and cough trying to cover up my gasp and open my mouth ready to retort something back, flushing almost as red as my sari.
 Hubby glances at me reassuringly and smiles shaking his head slightly.
He jumps in saying ''Aunty, I think you have us confused with her sisters, they're just over there by the drinks if you want to see them, we need to go say hi to a few others''. He drags me outside and squeezes my hand smiling at my face (which was a picture I tell you)

''Can you believe the nerve of her???'' I exclaim heatedly flailing my arms up ''She bloody knows we haven't got kids yet she says that in front of the whole bloody world!!!"
Hubby hands me a mango juice in a wine glass and sniggers, which riled me up even more, ''It's not funny!!'' I exclaim and down my mango juice down '' This is why I always have second thoughts about coming to this sort of thing''.

Hubby winks at me and hugs me close '' Who cares what some Aunty thinks, we got each other, don't let yourself get bothered by it ok hun'' he soothes me in a way only he knows how. I look at him gratefully and whip out my compant mirror to check if my flushed face had returned to normal.

Leaving Hubby with the guys, I tentatively walk across the grassy lawn to go inside and rejoin my sisters, holding my beaded sari in one hand, anklet jingling softly, and checking my iphone in the other.

Glancing up, my heart stopped as my ex fiance's eyes caught mine from the seating area. My heart catches in my throat and I gulp, I see him, suited and booted looking at me whilst walk casually in the same direction as i am and i panic.

Oh god i thought to myself, i can't be dealing with this, i feel the heat sear my face as i see him looking at me and i purposely look down at my phone pretending to read a text, 'oh gawwddddd why did i wear the anklet, it's so fucking loud, i sound like a fucking cow with a bell around its neck' i chaste myself mentally.

'shit shit he's still looking isnt he' i try to walk gracefully as i can and cut across the lawn to avoid him and practically fling myself inside the hall out of his vision, all the time knowing he's staring at me.

I prance to the toilets and throw my clutch bag on the sink and look in the mirror, kicking myself for letting ex-fiance get to me so easily. Why did i even look in his damn direction? why the crap did i even acknowledge his existence?. Fanning myself I calm myself down, knowing his sisters and family will also be somewhere around here also. Fking great, just what i need.

Closing my eyes I try blink back tears as all the horrible memories come invade my mind as they always used to. A gaggle of teenage girls come in giggling and chatting with each and I turn my backs to them.
Twinny comes into the toilets looking for me, i smile in relief to see her.

''Sorry babe, i wanted to warn you he was there but you didnt answer your phone.'' Twinny hugs me,

'Did you talk to him?? his sisters? do you think he looks the same?? He was trying to walk over to me i think, why would he though??'' I fire questions at twinny.

''No, yes, yeh kinda he looks hot though, and god knows why!'' She grins at me, 'Look, we're always going to be bumping into that lot, you can't get into a state every time okay, who cares, you've moved on with your life, screw him''.

I nod and smile at her, telling her I need to fix my make up and I'll be through in a bit. Twinny walks off and i re apply my mascara and tell myself off. Ex-fiance is my past, a long time ago, he stays in the past, i can't let him effect me and mess me up again. I'm happily married and Hubby is more than I ever dreamed off.

My Hubby knows everything about Ex-Fiance, how i was engaged to him for a very long time, how the wedding date was set, venue booked, wedding dress brought and tried numerous times. How me, a very young naive girl, completely in love and enthralled by Ex - Fiance, trusting in him so much, he grew up with me and my sisters, a long time family friend, how my life was entwined inexplicably with Ex-Fiance.

Cutting a very long and hurtful story short, Ex -Fiance broke us by his lies, deception, his dodgy dealings and gang he was involved with eventually led to our engagement breaking....inexplicably causing a rift between our family and his.

'I fucking hate this kinda crap' I mutter to myself.

Brushing my hair into place I sigh and tell myself to sort it out, I ignore what my best friends have told me in hushed whispers how Ex-Fiance has never gotten over me, how even 3 years on, he has not settled down or wants to.

Walking out of the toilets I smile and nod at various relatives & friends all sat in their tables, squealing with delight I hug a few old Uni friends and we chatter and make promises to meet up, i push myself through the throng of people and bump into Ex-Fiance.
Flushing red I step back and mumble an apology, Ex - fiance raises an eyebrow, catches my eye for longer than appropriate and smiles at me, ''How you been?'', I smile brightly 'Good thanks'' and rush off, knowing the whole damn hall was watching eager for fireworks.  

I join my family and reach for Hubby's hand under the table, he squeezes my hand reassuringly and strokes it ''You did good, not as red as your sari this time'' He laughs and pours me another glass of my favourite mango juice.