It just feels like nothing works.

Ever get one of those days where you take stock of your current situation and phase of life and think...wait, nothing has progressed or advanced since this time last year.

Grrr....over a year and a half of taking metformin to regulate my periods (although doc originally told me it would be just a 6 month course......i hate being fobbed off every time i go to the docs)...well, periods are not regulating, if anything its become worse. I now have not had my period since Feb....sucks.

I'm now on these other tablets which are supposedly supposed to 'force' the period on within 10 days.
Yeah..nearly 10 days up, and the case of the missing period still exists!

Blughhh..nothing works.

Sorry, it does sound like i'm venting...

Had a random email today popping up in my inbox, made me smile though..it was from 'me' about 3 years ago just after i got married.
by saying 'from me' i mean, years ago, i went on this random site where you can send yourself an email on a chosen date in the future...it arrived today, very interesting to get the vibes of a very bubbly euphoric version of me in that email.

''I wonder how many children i will have by now? 2 i hope???? i dont care whether its a boy or a girl but i do hope we stuck to my name list and didnt let hubby overrule with some ridiculous name!'' I giggle to myself as i read my email to me.
''Do we have a wall height chart set up for our kids on a lounge wall? like we dreamed of in a nice big spacious family home which we hopefully have by now!
ohh what car am i driving, pls tell me i finally got a flush black smoked bmw! I shake my head smirking, thinking of my old reliable honda i still have.
''Have i put on weight?? who do the kids look like? give them kisses for me right now wherever they are!!''.
I wipe away silent tears and smile ruefully at the email, reading the rest.
Reading this email, seeing the words from 3 years ago, the hopes and wishes i had for myself in the future....just..phew...got me...im smiling and crying a bit....thank god hubby's not around for another episode of me crying i smile to myself.

I print the email out, carefully fold it and slip it into my memory box.
I close the lid firmly and go down to make dinner, buoyed by dreams again.